I am 33 weeks pregnant as of Thursday, which means I am on the final countdown until little miss K is here. It is true when they say that the last few weeks drag on like you wouldn't believe. I am so anxious and ready for birth. My natural instinct to start preparation has kicked in. I am cleaning much more frequently and deeply now; also setting things in place before her arrival. All of her outfits are hung and organized appropriately due to size and what they are. I even have the outfits put aside for her hospital bag. The stroller is going in the back of our truck and the car seat will be put into place soon too but I don't want to get ahead of myself. In some ways, I feel like she may make an early arrival but I also feel as if that's just me wanting her here as soon as possible. I want her to come at least after October 11th, because it would be absolutely horrible if she came near or on my mother's wedding. I mean, I know you can't control something like that but my mom is having a ridiculously huge wedding and she has put so much time, effort, and money into it. She has a whole wedding committee helping her put everything in place. There is also a lot of people flying in from North Carolina and Indiana (including my sister!) so it would be extremely rough if she came but I don't think she will. She would be pretty premature. Either way, though, if she decides to come late then I've made the choice not to be induced. Unless I hit 43 weeks, then it's time to do something to get her out but it's totally natural to be pregnant that long.
My sister was induced at 37 weeks and they literally fought with Kiera to get her out. My sister was in labor for 17 hours (I think) and they had to use the clamps to pull Kiera out. She came out with a black eye and bruises all over her. I can't even imagine the type of stress that poor baby was under. Hospital settings are extremely, extremely stressful for babies and if I could afford my own insurance, I would have gone with a midwife and water birth at home. I've decided that my next child will not be in a hospital, but in the comfort of my home. I just want my baby to feel relaxed and comfort; I know it's going to be so hectic for her the day that she does come but I'm going to do everything possible to make it as safe and comfortable as possible.

I watch all of these mommies on my social media and I am so jealous! Not in an ugly type of way, but I just want her here! Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy the time while I'm pregnant but no. Pregnant is not fun to me and I will not miss it. I want the outcome of being pregnant. I want my slim body back and being able to eat what I enjoy before. Not only that but I long for those days that I get to tender to my beautiful creation and watch her grow and experience. Ah, I literally cannot wait. It's still so surreal to think about how I'm going to be a mother. A mom. It still just seems so off to me. 8 months ago, I had no idea. We were living in a shitty little shack, working our asses off to have extra money, just doing us. And in a blink of an eye, we are sitting in bed in silence thinking about the pregnancy. Neither of us were disappointed or sad and it was more me who was scared. Of my mom, but honestly getting pregnant made me love my mom so much more (I loved her before, obviously) but I felt like my mom was going to cry and hate me because she always told me: Do not get pregnant! Instead, though, she was so supportive and loving and she still is. She is just so wonderful and I cannot stress enough how lucky I am to have such a great mom. I wanna be that for my daughter. I haven't seen my mom in two weeks because she was out riding her motorcycle last Sunday but I'm going to see her today and I'm actually really excited to see her. I miss her a lot.